The Privilege of Refusal

A sex-worker’s reflection

Abstract

In this short reflection essay, I examine the conditions that enabled my acts of refusal as a sex worker and activist in Aotearoa New Zealand. Drawing on lived experience and critical reflection across a decade of sex work and activism, I argue that acts of refusal are a privilege that can challenge and transform perceptions of marginalised communities. The privilege of refusal is both deeply personal and inherently collective. My individual acts of refusal — refusing the victim/agent binary, refusing to be hidden, refusing to be isolated, and refusing singular identities — have been enabled by structural privileges, and created ripple effects extending beyond my own experiences. Through this piece, I exercise the privilege of speaking from within rather than being spoken about, working toward a future where such refusals become less necessary.